(A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
“You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
*quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
“Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
(The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
*to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
(Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
“I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
“Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
“Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
(The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)
Gallium is a silvery metal with atomic number 31. It’s used in semiconductors and LEDs, but the cool thing about it is its melting point, which is only about 85 degrees Fahrenheit. If you hold a solid gallium crystal in your hand, your body heat will cause it to slowly melt into a silvery metallic puddle. Pour it into a dish, and it freezes back into a solid.
While you probably shouldn’t lick your fingers after playing with it, gallium isn’t toxic and won’t make you crazy like mercury does. And if you get tired of it, you can melt it onto glass and make yourself a mirror.
THIS WAS IN A BOOK I READ IN SCIENCE AND SCIENTISTS USED TO MOLD THEM INTO SPOONS AND THEN GIVE THEM TO OTHER PEOPLE WITH THEIR TEA AND THE SPOONS WOULD JUST MELT AND THE SCIENTISTS WOULD LAUGH AS THE PEOPLE GOT ALL FLUSTERED LITERALLY NO ONE ELSE FOUND IT AS FUNNY AS I DID